Gotcha Day!

It’s 5:00am local time and everyone is still asleep. Wish you could hear their soft little snores. :) We went to bed at like 7:00pm if that tells you how tired everyone was. I figured I better try to blog some about yesterday, “Gotcha Day,” before the craziness ensues. I still need to blog about our visit to the village but that will come later. 

Ok, so yesterday morning we woke up early and got ourselves ready. We went down to breakfast in the hotel restaurant. It was good. I thought the feeling I had in my stomach was hunger but nope it turned out to be nerves. It was kind of hard for me to get enough breath. 

After breakfast we loaded the “van” and met our guide Abhi! She was an instant friend. Everyone has told us how amazing she is and now I completely understand! I was so thankful to have her with us! We got packed into the van and got on our way. 

We arrived at the orphanage really early. Our appointment was at 10:00am but we got there around 9:10am. However, they let us in. We signed into the entry log and walked up the front steps and through the front doors. There was a small, empty reception desk to the right next to the stairs and to the left was a hallway with several offices and the meeting room at the end. 

Within about 10 minutes, Kashila came around the corner. Wow she was so small, but looked just like her pictures! She was followed by Khushboo and then Rabina. Honestly I have no idea what went through my head other than “Oh my here they come! Here they are in flesh and blood!” It was awkward in a way because these were the children we have “known” and longed for for so long yet we really are strangers. We held their hands and got a few light hugs. I picked up Rabina immediately when she came in the room. 

Let me tell you, these girls have smiles that will knock your socks off. Rabina’s laugh... oh boy... melts my heart. The home staff stressed over and over again how happy they all were and how good they were... well K & K at least. They said Rabina was stubborn and a “spoiled brat”! HAHA! I truly think they are happy children, but I’m trying not to deceive myself. I know that some of this could simply be survival. Their smiles have protected them and helped them to fare well in the orphanage. Time will tell what their personalities are really like although I don’t think my “made up personalities” from their pictures are really that far off. Rabina may be the one who surprises us the most. I called her “my little grumpy bunny” but she’s not grumpy... she’s just “my way or the highway”. She has a temper. She has already pulled my hair, hit Lance and spit at him. Lord help us when she makes it to her teens.

We waited for over an hour for Mrs. K, the director, to come in. She seemed to be in an ok mood. We finally got around to the paperwork. We made sure we had everything we needed. Whew, that stressed me out. I was glad to be done with all of that! Afterward we headed upstairs to check out some of the orphanage.

We met with some of the aunties who have cared for the children. We also spent a few minutes with the girls’ teachers. They ware very nice and spoke good English. They said the girls were very intelligent and sweet. They gave us some of their school work and art work. they also had written letters to us explaining what the girls knew and also a little about their personalities. I was really not expecting any of this. I was just so grateful! I have yet to actually look at any of it really. We’ve just been so busy with the girls. Khushboo did show me Kashila’s English test book back at the hotel. She read me some of the words inside and I helped her with the ones she didn’t know. 

There was at least one other family picking up children that day. One family was from Spain and they were picking up one of the little girls that I had recognized. We had actually asked about her after we had lost the girls’ referral. It was quite busy at the Welfare Home! Mrs. K had us sign that we were taking custody of the girls and then we said some more goodbyes and loaded up in the van.

At this point it had gotten hotter outside and the girls were all dressed in long sleeves and jackets. I held Rabina in the front with me and the two Ks got in the back with Lance. We had our plastic bags ready just in case anyone felt sick, but nobody did. I had expected Rabina to be upset when she realized we were leaving. Nope, she waved goodbye and got in the van with me with no complaints. Kashila was quiet but seemed fine. Khushboo cried quietly on the way to the hotel. I tried to assure her it was totally ok to cry. Rabina fell asleep in my arms and didn’t wake up until I laid her on the hotel bed. 

The girls were hungry when we got to the hotel so we changed their clothes (they were freezing when we stripped off the layers) and ordered up room service. They ate some pizza and some rice and and some dal (lentils). They ate fairly well. Rabina can feed herself nicely which kind of made me sad. Lance was able to feed her some pizza but she wouldn’t let me feed her with the spoon. SHE wanted to do it! The girls drank a lot of water. I mean glass after glass. 

We watched some cartoons in Hindi and I began to treat their hair for lice/nits. The home told us they didn’t have any. I guess by didn’t have any they meant hundreds and hundreds of nits. Their hair is so thick so I was seriously overwhelmed. As I worked through Khushboo and Kashila’s hair they would look at the nits I had pulled out. I think they finally understood what I was doing. They would look at me with this embarrassed and grossed out look. I tried to reassure them that it was ok, we would get their hair clean. I smiled and hugged them when they searched my face to see if I was disgusted by it. It took so long. Kashila would say “Mom, break?” and I would let her go play and start back on Khushboo’s hair. Rabina had a few but nothing like K & K. 

Rabina LOVES phones. All of them do really, but Rabina particularly! She will pitch a fit if you take it away. The girls also love the camera. They took lots of pictures with it. I can’t wait to see them all.

Around 6:00 K & K started saying they were sleepy. So we gave them some peanut butter crackers and got them all tucked in. All three slept on the pull out couch. Not what I expected but I was ok with that. They all fell asleep pretty quickly. Before they went to sleep, we FaceTimed with the boys. Mandee had to wake them up but it was good to see their faces.

I would say that our first day together was really great! God was gracious to us, and I’m so thankful for all the prayers that went into this special day! We have some really amazing girls! We can't wait for you all to meet them! 

Well, I’m going to try to rest for a bit more before our day starts. -K

Update via Pictures

The boys and I took a trip to the aquarium. I thought Brayden had
been before, but apparently not. They really liked the dolphin show
and I really did NOT like the crowd.

Random fish picture. His face reflects how I felt about the 1 zillion people.

Brayden in the bubble window. :) 

Big ol' fat jelly fish. I was quite satisfied that they were behind glass!

Brayden started the First Grade at Reese Rd on Wednesday Aug 7!

Sweet Brayden... of course he picked the black play dough on the first day of school so the teacher could judge me for sending my child to school with nasty dirty finger nails... Figures.

We went to Atlanta to get our biometric fingerprinting done at the Department of Homeland Security. It was hard to find considering this was the only sign marking what the building was. We weren't allowed to bring our camera/phone in so this is our only picture. Now just waiting for approval. 

Asher started Pre-school at Wynnton Methodist the following
Monday. Look at this cool kid!

Pure attitude right here, buddy!

On Tuesday (Asher's second day) we got a call from our county's school
district saying that they had a spot open up for Asher at Brayden's school.
So Tuesday was Asher's last day at Wynnton Methodist and Wednesday
was his first day at Reese Rd. 

Now big bro and little bro are together and most importantly on the same schedule! Woo Hoo!

Sunday August 11th we decided to celebrate our little R turning 2
since this is the birthdate they have given her. I picked up a little cake at
Walmart. They spelled her name wrong, but I
figured it wasn't worth a fuss considering she's on the other side of the
planet. Guess this was the first of MANY name misspellings for our girls.

This is what happens when you let a waitress take your picture with an iPhone. Oh well, hopefully next year we will get a better picture with Rabina in person! Everyone looked at us like we were crazy (I guess they aren't far off on their judgements). I think the waitress finally figured it out on her own... she never asked but did comment how beautiful she was. You're dang right she's beautiful!
As are her sisters.

Asher was having some focus issues at school (it could be the other 21
students in the classroom) so we started giving him a Spark every morning
before school. No more frowns from his teacher. :)

Asher started karate at Wons Martial Arts. It's hilarious to watch!

I got my hair did. It's getting long... yes this is long. I was helping test
light for some head shots and ended up with my own. Deal!

There's your update via pictures. :)

Until next time! -K

Referral Part 2

This is part two of our referral story. This may be a bit long! Sorry! 

I left off with our initial “Yes” about the girls. We had seen their faces, learned their names and we were willing to move forward and see where God would lead us. 

As I mentioned in part one, we were on a trip to Texas. We were attending a conference in Fort Worth. It was two days after we had said “Yes” and Lance and I were sitting in an arena full of thousands of people waiting for the second day of our conference to begin. As a normal spoiled, iphone bearing American, I spent my time waiting checking FB and email and looking at sweet little faces. 

I was scrolling through my inbox and saw an email from our agency titled “Sad News.” My heart immediately sank because I knew this was going to be a door closing on the girls. Sure enough our agency shared that the home where these girls were had expressed concern that we might have trouble in the court process because we already had two biological children at home. The agency said that it was perfectly legal for us to adopt these girls but they were suggesting that we pass and wait for another referral. 

I tried to be strong. It made no sense for me to be upset. I had prepared myself for this. I even somewhat expected this. Why was this news so hard to take in? I tried. I truly did, but, as I looked out at the mass of people blissfully unaware of my pain, the view faded into a blur of light and tears. Lance, who had just read the email for himself, allowed me to hide my face in his chest and let it go. 

It is so hard to explain, but that day I grieved over children I had not met... the children birthed by another woman on the other side of the world... children that I had absolutely no right to grieve over. I felt stupid. I felt selfish. I felt lost. I wanted to find a deep, dark cave and just sit alone with this absurd sense of loss. 

As I sat there, I reminisced of another time I had gone to Texas. It was actually for another conference (what’s the deal with TX and conferences?) and I was having all the classic symptoms of early pregnancy. Like ALL of them! Lance was back at home with Brayden and he didn’t want me to take a test until I got back to Columbus. For those of you who know me well, you know waiting is not one of my strengths. No matter though, because I was certain I was pregnant. It was unplanned but I was okay with it. We were going to have another baby!

When I got home I took a test... it was negative.  The next day I followed the directions a little better and took another test... negative. The day after that I realized I really wasn’t ever pregnant. That day I grieved the loss of child I had not conceived... a child that never existed... a child I had not realized I wanted and therefore a child I had no reason to grieve over. I felt stupid and lost then, too. It was strange to feel like I was reliving the same scenario yet one so totally different. It was strange how they hurt so similarly.

As the weekend went on and we started to make our journey back home, Lance and I had a lot of time to talk alone. Maybe that’s why God sent this referral the day we were leaving. He knew we needed to be away from the normal demands of everyday life so we could deal with this. We had said in the beginning, “If God closes the door we are okay with it. We trust that his will is perfect!” and yet our conversations after the email on that Saturday sounded more like, “It does seem that God has closed the door, but something just doesn’t seem right here. I just can’t let this go for some reason. We need more answers.” The unsettled feeling was mutual which made me feel somewhat better knowing that I was chock full of hormones and my feelings were not very reliable at the moment.

When we got home, the unsettled feeling grew. We had an idea of how to proceed and decided we would check with our agency to see what they thought. We suggested that we continue with our adoption process as if we had never gotten the referral and then, once we got to the point where we would normally wait for a referral, we would see if the girls were still waiting. If they had been matched with another family, then that was our answer. If they had not been matched then we would pray and see if God was leading us toward them. If another referral came along we would consider it as well. In the meantime, we asked for her to check into what the home had said and see if it really was an issue we needed to be concerned with. We asked her if this was even in the realm of possibility... or if we were crazy for thinking this way.

The agency’s response was, “It’s funny that you write this because I have not felt comfortable about it ever since we got the email from the home. Yes, proceed in the normal fashion and I will look into it. We will see where God takes this.”

So, that’s what we did. We moved forward as normal. Of course K, K and R’s faces were already burned into our brains so we continued to pray for them. We even began to present them to other waiting families to see if they might be willing to consider them. We knew God had brought them into our lives for a reason... even if we were only to pray for them. We were open with the boys about the girls and they prayed every night for them. On his own accord, Brayden would pray, “God, I pray for K, K and R. If they are our sisters, please keep them safe and bring them home soon. If they are not the girls you have for us then please give them a good home and help us find our girls.” It was a beautiful thing to hear night after night. 

We went on for weeks with no news. A lot took place during this time. I can’t really go into detail about all of it, but we felt like we were under spiritual attack. I went through weeks of severe discouragement and anxiety. When we began to walk in a direction that would take us away from the girls, God would always point us back toward them in some way. This period was a HUGE lesson for us in discerning the will of God. I constantly had to remind myself of what the Bible says of God’s character. We had to look at each individual circumstance and ask ourselves, “Does God give us anxiety, fear, confusion? No, God gives us peace and hope... follow that.” 

A month after the first email about the girls, we got the following from our agency:

“I just wanted you to know that we have started the advocating for your family to adopt the sibling girls. We have made your case with the attorney and he will take it up with a judge to get his opinion. As soon as I hear I will let you know the plan.”

Not exactly what I expected when we asked for them to “look into things” but it was just another sign that this was not in our control.

To pass some time, I began to do some digging online. I discovered a website that lists all the orphanages in Delh*. I found the one these girls are in and I found their online listings along with some of listings of my friends’ children! The listing had a very brief description. I discovered that they were brought to the home because their mother had been in a car accident. I discovered that they had a last name and that their religion was actually Muslim and not Hindu. The listing came with two pictures.

A week or so later, our friends traveled to [country in Asia] to pick up their daughter from the very same orphanage that these girls are in. They took a couple of pictures for us while they were there. I was so surprised at how different they looked from the original pictures we had seen. I was not a fan of K & K's haircuts or their ugly brown school uniforms but I was glad to have a recent picture. 

After the email about the attorney, it was another two weeks or so before we heard anything else. I’ll pick up here in part three. 

While you wait for the next post, you can visit visit our YouCaring page HERE! Please help us out by sharing the link! 

Until next time! -K

Happy New Year!

Okay, so I didn’t get around to posting about our family’s Christmas traditions. I’m actually kind of bummed because half of them didn’t even happen this year. :( I was really looking forward to eating Chinese buffet on Christmas night! Anyways, I just didn’t feel like detailing all the wonderful Christmas traditions... that apparently are not tradition enough! Bleh! But it’s a new year, so let’s just move on and hopefully our 2013 Christmas will be full of more of our family traditions. 

I love the first of the year! It always feels fresh... there is fresh hope in the air. The previous year is finished, done, gone, and now we have a whole new year ahead of us. Most people set resolutions, but I’m not so great at them. I’ve only truly kept a few. So, I tend just to set broad goals and have a general direction that I want my life to go in for the next year. That suits me a bit better.

This year is slightly different and my goals are a bit more concrete. For one, we have two little girls to bring home, so one of my big goals (which I actually set back in the fall) is to have a minimum of $30,000 in our adoption fund by the end of the year. Another goal for myself is that I would show more grace to my family (and as I write this, my boys are about to tip me over the edge of madness). The one goal I want to talk about today is my health goal...

In December of 2011, Lance and I found something that truly changed our life; AdvoCare. I was simply looking to loose a few pounds and create a healthier lifestyle, but AdvoCare was way more than that for us. Not only did it help both Lance and I get into the best shape of our lives (I went from a size 12 to a size 6), it also pushed us to grow personally. We really feel that God provided AdvoCare for this specific season of life, and we are very thankful for it and for the friends who shared it with us. 

One of the things we learned about through AdvoCare was the “slight edge.” A slight edge is  something that is quite small and seems of little consequence, but over time if you allow a slight edge to creep in, it changes things a great deal... for either bad or good. Over the last three months or so, Lance and I have discovered the harsh truth of the slight edge and unfortunately, not for the good. We allowed the busyness of life to create slight edges in our health and lifestyle. Skipping workouts turned into no workouts. Eating out here and there turned into eating out way too much. One soda turned into lots of sodas, etc. Before we realized it, we were heading down the same road we were on before AdvoCare found us just over a year ago. Then came the holidays... enough said. While I can still fit in my pants (which amazes me after all the junk I have eaten) I just feel gross and I don’t like it! We have GOT to recreate our healthy habits!

So, one of my biggest goals for 2013 is to get back on track health wise! AdvoCare just released a new 24 day workout program and I am really excited about starting it. I’m not a big gym person, so I think this is going to be a wonderful fit for me. Lance and I did the Insanity workout for a while, but it is in fact insane and totally killed my joints. I did however like the fact that I could look like a total idiot in the privacy of my own home with only my children laughing at me. We’ve gotten the Can You 24 workout ordered along with another 24 Day Challenge (what we first started on in 2011) and I plan to start as soon as it all comes in next week. I’m not going to speak for Lance, but hopefully he will join me. 

On top of using AdvoCare products and doing the Can You 24 workout, I will be following a gluten free diet. Here’s why...

Yes, that is my almost 30 year old face with no makeup. Sorry if it scares you. Of course this was taken with my iPhone, so my face looks super fat. I hate to even post a picture, but I want to be able to show you progress... if there is any. I am so tired of having acne! It’s gross, it's embarrassing and it's depressing. I have tried just about everything you can imagine and nothing works. 

If you’ve read some of my older blog posts, you know I am a professional at self-diagnosing. The other day I was doing some research and decided that I just may be sensitive to gluten, which could be causing my acne. I have lots of reasons to think this might be the case, so I am going to give the gluten free lifestyle a try. Heck, it’s basically how we all should eat anyway. I will also be doing my darn best to cut out all refined sugar *cries a little*, because I'm pretty sure I have an addiction to sugar equal to that of a heroine addict. I'm thinking sugar combined with the gluten is not making my body and especially my skin happy at all!

Over the next month or so, I plan to post updates about my health goal progress. I’ll post some pictures and such and let you know how I’m doing and feeling. If you see me or talk to me, feel free to ask me about it. Accountability is a good thing. :) 

Oh yeah, I also have a goal of growing my hair out this year. We will see how that goes. If I can just get here (minus the blonde but maybe plus that awesome sweater) I think I’ll be in the clear...

So, what are some of your goals or resolutions for 2013?

Love Me or Hate Me

****This turned into a radom thoughts post. Too much bouncing around in this little brain of mine.****

“Love me or hate me, both are in my favor…If you love me, I'll always be in your heart…If you hate me, I'll always be in your mind.” 
― William Shakespeare

This should be the company motto for Netflix, because I am quite certain I am not the only one who has a love/hate relationship with this piece of technology. They crushed my sweet mommy heart when they removed EV-ER-Y Wiggle movie!! Why?!? Must be a bunch of single men running the show! But I must admit that Netflix is one of my best babysitters and is much of the reason I get a daily shower. 

Brayden hasn't figured out the whole "search" thing yet. He says "Look for Petter Pan". I type P-A-N and nothing comes up. He freaks out because I didn't enter the whole thing. This is where the grace of God helps me not to say a string of curse words. But what do I know? I mean, he is 5 WHOLE years old and I am only 28. Obviously, he knows more about Netflix than I do! Here's a picture for you...

I cut my hair off yesterday. Yeah, I know, there wasn't much there to cut in the first place, but it's definitely shorter. I had her chop off the stylish longer bangs that I so stylishly pinned back with a clip everyday. Think Halle Berry short hair on a pale white girl's body. 



Speaking of pale white girl... Y'all! I cannot get my legs to tan to save my life. What the heck?! We've been going to the pool for a couple of hours every other day to let the boys swim, and no tan legs. I'm pretty sure when I was younger my legs would tan. Even wearing white shorts they still look albino white! What happened to 1/16 of me that is American Indian? 



So yesterday I made homemade pot roast, mashed potatoes and field peas. By "homemade" I mean I put the packaged roast  and canned peas in the microwave and poured potato flakes into a pan... in my my very own home = homemade. If you ask nicely I'll send you the recipe. Contrary to how it sounds, it was actually really good for a quick meal. Even Asher loved it! See?

Brayden, on the other hand, did not...

He said, "My belly hurts REALLY bad... because of YOU!" Yes, my precious little sugar dumplin... your horrible mother and father will continue to make you eat what we cook, because contrary to your belief, it's not healthy for you to survive on Frosted Flakes and Mac-n-Cheese. 



Sooooo, when Brayden is not complaining about the voluntary IBS I have inflicted upon him, he is asking for a sister. Yep. I'm not sure why, but I never really expected this from him. I remember I used to beg for a brother or sister when I was little but that's because I was an only child for 12 years. I just didn't see this coming! He's also been praying every night, "God, thank you for today. Thank your for your grace and mercy and all you do for us. Please give me a sister." 

God, I know you have a sense of humor, but if I turn up pregnant after having my tubes double tied (according to Dr. Rich) I'm seriously not going to be laughing. 



My sciatic nerve has been killing me for a week! It's made me lazy and I have not run my sprints all week. Shameful, I know!



And last random thought.... I've lived in Georgia all my life and this morning was the first time ever that I have eaten a fresh peach for breakfast. Ain't it purtty? It even had a cute little peach dimple. :)

Until next time! - K