Twenty-Seven Months Pregnant

This "paper pregnancy" (aka adoption) began in June 2012... 27 long months ago. We shared our exciting news  in September 2012. We found out we were "pregnant" with triplets of different ages on Valentines Day 2013. We were told we had a "miscarriage" in September 2013. We surprisingly discovered we were still "pregnant" with triplets in January 2014. Here we are in September 2014 and we are still "pregnant"!! Ready to POP pregnant!!

"Now Kristian," you say, "pregnancy is so different from adopting. They are two totally different experiences" 

NO, NO, NO!! You, my friend, are totally and absolutely wrong! Adoption is so very much like pregnancy in oh so many ways! I have been physically pregnant twice so I know! Ladies who are adopting or have adopted and have never been physically pregnant, you have totally experience pregnancy and then some! Don't ever feel like you missed out! I promise pregnancy and adoption are basically the same thing if you take out the 1,805,336 emails, 12 reams of paper, Braxton Hicks contractions and an episiotomy. Please note some of the "symptoms"...

1. You get fat. Everyone says you look great but you know you're fat. "It's just baby weight," you try to tell yourself as you rub your baby bump.
2. You're fat because you can't stop shoving donuts and ice cream and more donuts into your face. Gotta fatten those babies up right?  
3. You crave odd stuff like the little crunchy fried bits that come in the bottom of your Captain D's fish basket (don't judge me) and gigantic cups of ice cold milk. <---- also why you're fat.
4. You're husband and family think you are a certified nut job. (See numbers 5 and 6 and 7)
5. You are moo-dy. PMS ain't got nothing on a paper pregnant momma. The bad thing with paper pregnancy is there might still be PMS too! So fun!
6. You cry about everything. You cry when you're happy and you cry when you're sad and you cry when you're mad. 
7. You can't... you can't... oh what was number 7? I had it a minute ago. Oh yeah! You can't remember JACK! Like not a dang thing! Adoption pregnancy brain is real, people!
8. You can't sleep. 
9. You have weird dreams.
10. You get heartburn! <---- because you're fat.
11. You're back hurts and your feet swell! <---- probably because you're fat.
12. You have to pee all the time. Maybe it's just me getting old.
13. You spend hours on the internet researching paper pregnancy and what to expect.
14. You read books with charts and diagrams, symptoms and solutions.
15. People ask you when your "due date" is but you haven't got one.
16. You start nesting.
17. You have lots of false labor and it sucks when they "send you back home"!
18. You think of something else you need for your children just about every day. Pullups, hairbows, socks, sippy cups, car seats, etc.
19. You enjoy complaining chatting with other paper pregnant women. You keep up with everyones progress! 
20. You get the pleasure of picking names!
21. You are tired all the time. Naps are your best friend.
22. You can't wait to pack your bag but you really don't know what to pack and you're sure you won't really know until you're there and don't have it or don't use it.
23. You wonder if your babies will be hard or easy.
24. You try to imagine what life will be like but you just can't. Although you know that once they are in your arms you won't be able to imagine what life would be like without them.
25. You long for the day that you won't be pregnant anymore!

So yeah... I'm totally twenty-seven months pregnant! Come on labor!

Until next time! -K