Why Are You Cast Down, O My Soul?

Psalm 42

Why are you cast down, O my soul, and why are you in turmoil within me?

Hope in God; for I shall again praise him, my salvation and my God.

My soul is cast down within me; therefore I remember you

from the Land of Jordan and of Hermon, from Mount Mizar.

Deep calls to deep at the roar of your waterfalls;

all your breakers and your waves have gone over me

By day the Lord commands his steadfast love,

and at night his song is with me, a prayer to the God of my life.

I say to God, my rock: "Why have you forgotten me?

Why do I go mourning because of he oppression of the enemy?"

As with a deadly wound in my bones, my adversaries taunt me,

while they say to me all the day long, "Where is your God?"

Why are you cast down, O my soul, and why are you in turmoil within me?

Hope in God; for I shall again praise him my salvation and my God

I try so hard not to get my hopes up about things, yet I do... I can't help it. I always get my hopes up and so often I am disappointed. The cycle has played out again... again I got my hopes up and again I am disappointed. 

I had really hoped and believed that the case heard for evidence on July 2nd was our case. It took several days for them to post the notes from the case online and each day that passed my heart sank lower and lower. This morning at 7:30 the notes were finally there. While Lance and the boys were asleep I checked the notes in silence and quickly learned that Case No. 92 was for a little boy... not three little girls. Definitely not our case. I shed a few quiet tears and went back to sleep. 

I've been low in my spirits today as the reality that we now have no idea where we are in the court process sunk in. My hopes of traveling by the end of August disintegrated into thin air. The "end" that I could almost touch with my hand just disappeared over the horizon. I'm tired and weary.

As I read Psalm 42 tonight, I was reminded my hope is in God, my salvation. So, while my soul is cast down I am going to follow in David's footsteps and remember the Lord from the Land of Jordan (or the Land of Adoption). I want to recount what the Lord has done because I SHALL again praise him!

Remember with me and let us rejoice over all that God has done! Let's start from the very beginning...

• God opened our eyes to see the beauty of the gospel and to understand that we ourselves were once orphans, but because of the great mercy and love of God he sought us out relentlessly and now, through grace, we are heirs with Christ! Praise the Lord!
• God made it so perfectly clear to us that we were to adopt. He led us to India and gave us a desire for daughters! Praise the Lord!
• God gave us the most amazing Valentine gift ever in 2013 when we saw K, K and R for the first time. He gave us the peace and courage to move forward with what seemed totally crazy! Praise the Lord!
• God has given us prayer warriors and Godly council to direct us, challenge us, prepare us and support us throughout this journey! Praise the Lord!
• God opened so many doors and lead us as we navigated uncertain waters. Praise the Lord!
• In May 2013, when we sent in our dossier God provided the $15,000 we need in less than 7 days! Praise the Lord!
• In September of 2013 when we lost the referral for the girls God sustained us. He so beautifully comforted us and gave us peace beyond understanding. Praise the Lord!
• In November 2013 he led us to Eden and he taught our hearts to trust him and seek him more fervently. He taught us to pray with faith. Praise the Lord!
• Because of our pursuit of Eden, we were connected to the founder of the Forever Families Foundation who later so generously gave us the grant that brought us to being fully funded. Praise the Lord!
• In January God performed a miracle and he brought our girls back to us! Despite our confusion over Eden, he made it so clear to both me and Lance that this was the work of his hand and this was the path we were to walk in. Praise the Lord!
• In February, a year after first seeing their faces, we held K, K and R's official referrals in our hands! Praise the Lord!
• In March God blessed us with an amazing Both Hands project in which we were honored to serve Ms. Wright. God provided over $11,000 through this project! Praise the Lord!
• When our agency lost accreditation in March, God protected us and provided for us! We didn't lose any of our funds and our transition to a new agency was smooth! Praise the Lord!
• In April we received our Article 5 Letters from the US Embassy saying we had approval to make the girls US citizens! Praise the Lord!
• In May, we were FULLY FUNDED! God provided over $60,000 for our adoption! Praise the Lord!
• Also in May we received our ARC and NOC approval in record time! Praise the Lord!
• On Mothers Day God provided a vehicle that would fit our family of 7! Praise the Lord!
• In June our girls got to see pictures their family for the first time! Praise the Lord!
• God directed me to the court websites where our case can be tracked! There is progress in this court! Praise the Lord!
• God will continue to move on behalf of K, K and R! Praise the Lord!
• God will bring them home in his perfect time and he will comfort us all while we wait. Praise the Lord!

May we always remember all that the Lord has done for us on this journey! When our soul is cast down, may the remembrance of his faithfulness bring us peace and joy!

If you would like to pray for us, you can specifically pray that the next case being heard on July 11th will be our case. You can also pray that God would work our travel plans perfectly around Brayden's 8th birthday. He does not want us to be in India on his birthday and I want to be sure that we can properly celebrate his eight years of life! Finally, you can pray that God would be with the girls and comfort them while they wait.

Thank you so much for your continued prayer and support!

Until next time! -K