Adoption Update

Today, I wanted to give an adoption update! So many of you have asked where we are so hopefully this will explain things well.

First, I want to share some awesome news with those of you who have followed our journey for a while. Toward the end of 2013 after we had lost the referral for the girls, we began pursuing a little girl we named Eden. She is a beautiful little six year old with a very unique special need and she completely stole our hearts. In January of this year, when we received word that we had been miraculously matched with K, K and R, we had to give Eden back to the Lord and trust Him with her future. This was incredibly hard for me and I have cried MANY tears over this because I love Eden. She will always be a daughter in my heart. 

Not long after we began moving forward with the girls, I received word that Eden was actually matched with a family. We began looking into this to be sure that it was true. If it was true, then had we not been matched with the girls and had continued pursuing Eden we very likely would have discovered that she was not available to be adopted. Just a couple of weeks ago it was confirmed that Eden is matched with a family. We don’t know who or where her family is but we rejoice over God’s provision for such a precious little one. He has answered the prayers of many! Thank you to those who earnestly prayed for her!

Ok, now on to what’s going on with us...

As you probably know, we received the coveted No Objection Certificate back in May. We believe our case has been entered into the court system, but we aren’t 100% sure since we’ve not received any official news from the home (not for lack of trying). I honestly just don’t think the lawyers tell the home anything until court is over and done with, but that’s just my opinion. 

I’ve been tracking court cases online. Each state has their own court system and they are all set up differently. Some states court cases are easier to track than others. I got a few pieces of key information which led me to a specific district court where I found a lot of adoption cases including ones for girls home. BINGO!!! I researched (think hours in front of the computer) loads of adoption cases so I could learn the system. It appears that cases move swiftly through court with this particular judge. I found one recent case (#92) that mentioned the submission of a scrutiny report AND an NOC report. I think this is our case but there's a chance it's not. 

There is a hearing for Case #92 on July 2 (this Wednesday or Tuesday night for us). Based on the court notes from other cases, after this hearing we should have a pretty good idea if this is really our case or not. If this IS our case, then there should only be one other hearing which is where it will be approved or denied. 

Once our case is approved then K, K and R will be officially our daughters and then we will be able to share their pictures and full names. Can’t wait for this!

After verbal orders comes written orders. This can take a couple of weeks. After written orders, they will apply for the girls’ passports and then... WE GET ON A PLANE AND GO GET ‘EM!!!!!!

We just applied for our Indian visas. We drove up to Atlanta on Friday and turned our applications in. We should have these back sometime this week or next week! 

I’ve been nesting off and on. I’m trying to get our house ready.  Brayden helped me put together an IKEA storage shelf for the girls room. 

Some of you have asked if we have everything we need. Uh no, no we don’t have everything we need. Here is a list of things we need for the girls:

• leggings or “under shorts” in any color (sizes 2T, 3T, 4T, 5T and 6/7)
• undies in any color, or character (sizes... yeah I don’t know. see sizes above)
• socks in any color (maybe sizes 4-12??)
• pajamas; preferably short sleeve or sleeveless night gowns (sizes 3T, 4T, 5T, 6/7)
• baby dolls in any skin colors and doll accessories 
• dress up clothes up to size 8
• girly books
• appropriate toys
• Need to borrow an Ergo or toddler sized wrap (for child up to 30-35lbs) that is comfy.

Y’all pray for my sanity as we go through this final phase. I swear adoption brain is 10 times worse than pregnancy brain. You can’t trust me to remember anything! I’m just so ready to go and there’s so much to do... I need prayer.

Alright well, that’s the update! Hopefully another post coming on Thursday!

Until next time! -K

Words

I’ve held back from sharing this post for a while. Sometimes the raw, untainted truth isn’t such a pretty thing. We live in a society where we only put the best of ourselves forward and we can do that because the true “us” hides behind our Instagrams or our FB profiles or our blogs. Even in flesh and blood we’re fake people. You know you have a true friend when you can bare your soul with them and share all of your shortcomings and downfalls and they shake their head and say “I totally understand,” and they really do. I have a handful of these friends and what a blessing it is... but the topic of friendship is a topic for another day. Today I’m going to talk about words.

Words are interesting little things. They are just a combination of symbols, sounds and inflections. They are lifeless things yet carry with them such power, such weight. Proverbs 18:21 says, “Death and life are in the power of the tongue, and those who love it will eat its fruits.” Death and life... these are not things to be taken lightly. With our words we can crush and defeat, and with our words we can build up and breath hope. We choose. Everyday. 

Over the last 10 years Lance and I have heard a lot of hurtful words from people whose words tend to matter the most, but I would say about 50% of those wounding words have been spoken over the last year and a half as we have gone through one of the most difficult times of our lives. These words have not brought hope, joy, encouragement and life, rather they have brought pain, stress, discouragement and death. And the really sad thing is, they were spoken with the intention of “helping” us and making us better. Funny how that works.

The other day after another dose of hurtful, discouraging words, I found a quote online. It says, “There comes a point when you have to realize that you’ll never be good enough for some people. The question is, is that your problem or theirs?” I began to think about all the damaging and critical words that have flowed into our ears and I was saddened by the effect it’s had. I cannot count the times we’ve said to each other, “Nothing we do is good enough.” and “We can’t do anything right.” Maybe it’s not our problem but theirs. 

Then, I began to think about all the critical words that have flowed OUT of my own mouth and into the ears of my children, and I was utterly devastated by that reality. I thought about how quick I am to criticize. Maybe it’s not coming out and saying “You suck,” but it’s little criticisms all the time like “Why can’t you keep your room clean?” “Your handwriting on this is sloppy!” and “You need to stop being ungrateful!” Lets be honest, when you add them up day after day, from their point of view, they really say the same thing... and the sad thing is these critical words were spoken with the intention of “helping” them and making them better! This is the not-so-pretty truth of things and I’m not proud of it. 

It’s easy for me to let these little criticisms slide out and yet I have to be so intentional about affirmations and encouragements. Why? Why is death so easy to find on the tongue? Its always right there, ready and waiting. But life? I have to search for life on my tongue. I have to seek after it, but when I find it and bring it forth, it so beautiful, so wonderful. So why is that? Maybe because death is alway the easier choice because it’s our natural inclination... our sin nature. Sin is death.

I don’t ever want my children to look back over their life (or even their week) and think “I’m never good enough” because that would be our problem not theirs. I love my boys, and I think they are amazing kids with so many awesome, God given gifts and characteristics. My words should reflect that! James 1:26 says, “If anyone thinks he is religious and does not bridle his tongue but deceives his heart, this person’s religion is worthless.” I’ve been asking God to help me bridle my tongue and to send me life giving words to pour into my children.

Words... just combinations of sounds and symbols and yet so, so much more than that. We have the power to speak life and death into those around us. We have a choice. Everyday. What are you speaking to the people in your life? 

Until next time. -K

Gardening and the Christian Life

This spring, Lance and I planted a small garden. He laid the bed and planted the seeds, and I've nurtured them and helped them grow. He says this sounds just like making babies... 

Anyways, nobody told me gardening was addictive! Before I knew it, we (Lance) had ripped up our overgrown shrubs that were in the front of the house and we planted some new plants in their place. If we were made of money I would have a full English garden by now, but our Lowes gift card ran out so we stopped  buying plants. Sad day.

I don't even know what kind of bushes we pulled up, but I replaced them with Indian Hawthorns which are quite hardy. I also planted a lovely Hydrangea with purple/blue blooms in a spot where a scraggly rose bush once lived (it came with the house). Hydrangeas are some of my favorite flowering plants and this one was particularly beautiful. One of the blooms on this Hydrangea was almost 10 inches in diameter! Huge! I'll come back to my gorgeous Hydrangea in a minute.

I really and truly didn't expect to love gardening. I've always seemed to have a "black thumb" and have never had much luck with plants. I even killed a bamboo plant once. So, I just assumed it would become another chore I put off, but I love it. I look forward to going out every morning to water the plants and see what has changed. I even love pulling weeds. I wish laundry had the same appeal.

I also didn't expect to glean so many lessons about the Christian life from gardening. This has come as a complete surprise. It seems like every time I spend a few minutes surveying the fruits of my labor I always walk away pondering life; growth, faith, pain, joy, grace, provision, etc. 

Ok, so back to my Hydrangea. I planted it in late March, and it was my pride. The blooms were huge and it seemed to be doing well. I was really enjoying it, but, as the days got warmer, I started noticing something that concerned me. The edges of the leaves were starting to burn up. This plant only got a handful of hours of sunlight but it was the afternoon sun. Being an amateur gardener, I didn't know that in the South Hydrangeas really like morning light and afternoon shade. 

As the days passed, I decided I needed to move the Hydrangea to a shaded spot if  it was going to live. I knew leaving it where it was would eventually kill it. So, I got out the shovel, put the edge to the ground, stomped on it and dug up my beloved Hydrangea. I dug another hole and placed the root ball in the ground and covered it with soil. I patted down the dirt and watered it. As harsh as it seemed to dig it up, it was the only way I knew to save it. 

I tend to give my plants personalities... I'm weird. This Hydrangea did not like me digging it up and moving it somewhere new. It was quite comfy in the place where the sun beams rained down... even if it's leaves did burn up. It was used to that spot and would have preferred not to leave it, but I knew if it had stayed there it would die. For a couple of weeks after digging up it up, it seemed as though I had not saved my plant but killed it. It appeared the transplant had been too much for my Hydrangea to bear. It drooped. The blooms shriveled and browned. It was pitiful. My plant was in shock, teetering on the edge of life and death, but I continued to water it and check it because I believed I had done what was best for it even though I was taking a gamble that my plant might die. 

Yesterday, I went out to check all of my plants and as I got closer to my Hydrangea plant, I noticed something really awesome... new growth! Around each stem, under the shriveled blooms, there were little sprouts of green, heathy, new leaves. I was so excited to see this and instantly I began to relate to this Hydrangea plant. 

There are times in the Christian life when God has to dig us up! Sometimes he has to remove us from our comfy spot in the sunshine or else we will shrivel up and die. It's strange... to us, what feels like living is, in reality, dying. We've laid our roots and taken hold of the soil around us. Because of this, we don't want to be dug up. We don't want to move. We don't want to go through hardship. We don't want to be scared. We. Just. Don't. Wanna!

But unlike me, God is no amateur gardener. He doesn't take a gamble with our lives. He knows what we need... exactly what we need. He knows when digging us up is the BEST thing for us. While digging us up my take us out of our comfort, he does it to produce growth in us so we can live in a way that pleases Him. 

He is not unkind when he puts his shovel to the ground. He is perfectly loving and tender as he unearths the most vulnerable parts of us and lays them bare to be cared for by his expert hand. He sustains us when we are weak. He never leaves us even if we feel abandoned in the shadows. He supplies all our needs even when we feel nothing but despair. If we are a part of HIS garden then we have no need to fear because HE is an expert gardener and he love each of his plants. 

God, help us to embrace the times when you dig us up. Help our roots to grow strong in YOU and not the world around us. Give us courage so that we can be obedient even when it means leaving our comfort behind. Be our strength when our soul is weary and we feel as though we cannot go on. Produce growth in our lives that glorifies you and speaks of your wonderful grace! 

Until next time! -K

On the beach we forget to count the days...

...unless you're adopting. You always count days when you're adopting. 

Last Sunday, the boys and I loaded up the van (thank God for having a van) and headed down to the beach. It's been two years since we've been to the beach and I am so very grateful that Lance's aunt allowed us to stay in her lovely condo for free, else we would have not come to the beach. Lance had to work (saving his single week of paid vacation for India) but he was able to come down last night just in time for low country boil and he is staying until Sunday. The boys and I leave Monday. My parents and sister also came down which I was super excited about.

It's been beautiful here; a bit of rain the first couple of days but nothing too bad. The water has been crystal clear; no sea weed, no algae, no trash, NO JELLY FISH. Unfortunately the beach is crowded. Lots and lots of people. I can honestly say I don't think I've ever seen the beach so full. You almost cannot walk up and down the beach peacefully without tripping over sun bathers. I could totally do with less people but whatever.

I needed the beach so bad. I needed the relaxation. This adoption has chewed me up and spit me out. I just needed to get away from everything, forget my phone and computer (for a good chunk of the time) and have fun with my boys. I still had a ton of work to do that I left behind. Actually I did bring it with me but I can't get the card reader on Lance's computer to read my card so I can't get to the work! If you are some of that work, I'm REALLY sorry. Please forgive me for the delay, but trust me, it's probably better that I to do the work after than before. I promise I will get work done next week!

The sand and the waves have been therapy for me. There's been a lot of time for little chats with God, simple reflections, deep self-reflections, and a whole lot of just nothing other than enjoying my family. It's like a balm for my weary soul. The tan is just a bonus.

My friend asked me the other day if the beach has made me forget about the adoption. Well, no, but I'm not stressed about it. Although, I do think about and long for the girls a lot. It's hard for me to look out at the boys playing in the sand and not wonder what the girls would think about going to the beach for the first time. 

I met up with another Indi-momma down here on Sunday night. She and her husband just recently came home with their little boy from India. He is a heart stopper! I just want to eat him up, but that's kind of against adoption attachment rules. Totally not fair because his eyelashes alone are drool worthy. Seeing him reminded me that they really do come home... in the flesh. It's a strange feeling of awe and longing. I feel this same way when I see our friends' little girl, Shanti, who came from the same home as K, K and R. Just watching her run around in our church halls blows my mind. Some days the need for the girls to be home is almost palpable. On days like these no amount of sand and sun can make me forget that there are six little bare feet that are running around an orphanage in India when they should be running up and down the beach with us. 

A lot of people have been asking if we have any updates. No, not really. I think, THINK our case is in the court system but we won't really know that for sure until maybe July 3rd. The courts close for the whole month of June so I've told myself to just take a chill pill and enjoy my simple, easy life with two kids for four weeks. On July 2nd/3rd I can freak out to my heart's content (complete oxymoron), but for the month of June I'm gonna chill. What's that you say? Ugh, don't call me a liar, that's rude. ;-)

It's been a week since I mailed off our photo book to the girls. I am praying that they will get it and enjoy it. I wish I could be a fly mosquito on the wall when they open it up and see all the pictures of themselves and their new family. I saw how excited K1 was about Shanti's book so I can only imagine how much they will love seeing it. I'm guessing, "Man, these people are WHITE!" will be the main thought!

It's been FIVE, count em, FIVE weeks since I mailed our passports off. I really sorta kinda need to get those little books back so we can send them off again for visas <---- this kind of makes me nervous because there is a lot of confusion about visas right now. Don't ask... I don't know. See? Totally confused. I just know our passports need visas sooner rather than later.

Well, I think that's it for now. I think I'm going to go relax some more. :)

Until next time! -K