Closure

Closure. It’s such a tidy sounding word. I kind of feel like Inigo Montoya saying, “You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means.” I think when most people throw out the word “closure” they mean it in a tidy way. They want closure to be tidy... nice and neat with a bow on top.

Let me tell you what closure is NOT. Closure is not having everything figured out. Closure is not letting go. Closure is not being “OK” with everything all of a sudden. Closure is not the end of grief. Closure is certainly not everything wrapped up in polka dot wrapping paper with a cute little bow on top. Closure is not tidy.

Having said all of that, I think that Lance and I are finding some closure regarding the girls. Hang on a second, because now I’m crying...

I think for me, closure is just the acceptance of a new reality. I haven't let go but I’m moving forward. I just don’t know where forward is going.

Over the last week I have found some release from the girls and after an email from our agency this morning, I think we have come to a place where if we received another referral we could consider it. We are still not expecting a referral anytime soon, though. 

For those of you who continue to pray for us, you can pray that God would be gracious and match us with our child(ren) quickly. Pray for God to continue giving us more "closure" and peace.