All Aboard!

ALL ABOARD!!! All aboard the Ogden Crazy Train (aka our adoption)!

Last time I updated about our adoption was December 10th. I explained that we had made the decision to move forward with Eden and we were waiting for the official match from !ndia. 

On Wednesday, January 8th, we were still waiting. Our agency had been sending emails and making phone calls with no results to show for it. We still didn’t have the match! Then, on the evening of the 8th, it came...

Our agency director called Lance and told him that !ndia had OFFICIALLY matched us...

But not with Eden (say what?)...

Welcome aboard the Ogden Crazy Train! Please be seated for your safety!

We have been officially matched with K, K and R, the sisters we lost in September! Apparently the other family that !ndia matched them with changed their minds and turned them down. !ndia immediately turned around and assigned them to our family and sent a notification to our agency that the match was official. 

In a matter of minutes our adoption was turned completely on its head. We were incredibly shocked. Basically we were now in a place where we had to make a very, very hard decision. We could proceed with the girls, whom we loved and begged God to return to us, or we could turn them down to continue pursuing Eden, whom we also have grown to love, with the risk that there was no guarantee that we would EVER get matched with her. Confusion is an understatement.

As always, I’m going to be complete honest and raw with you. I was in a really, really bad place Wednesday night. I was super angry and pretty much in pure agony over the fact that no matter what choice we made we would lose. Despite my efforts to hold her at arms length, I had grown an attachment to Eden. I had forced myself to detach from the girls (while I still loved them) because they were gone, never coming back to us, GONE! I was faced with picking which of my children I wanted to leave in an orphanage in !ndia. We discussed things that night, but Lance and I were not on the same page. I was incredibly defensive about Eden and I didn’t want to be open to the possibility that God may be taking us in a different direction... again. I had not cried so much since that day in September when we lost the girls. I was just so, so confused.

Thursday morning, after a rather horrid night’s sleep or lack thereof, I dedicated myself to prayer. I cried out to the Lord and voiced all my anger and heartache. I asked him to lead us BOTH in the right direction. I prayed that God would give us peace beyond understanding and 100% assurance with whatever decision he led us to. I tried to set aside my emotions and just let God lead me by the hand because I know that he never leads us wrong! God answered my prayers.

By Friday, I began to feel in my heart that we needed to proceed with the girls. Lance was feeling the same way. Everyday it became clearer and clearer that this was where the Lord was leading us. Everyday God gave me more peace and assurance. Joy began to sneak in a bit, too. We see this match as a complete miracle and an answer to our prayers despite the complicated timing. 

Lord willing, we believe these are our girls!

At the beginning of this week, we let our agency know what we had decided and we took the first steps of proceeding with K, K and R. We began the paperwork for their immigration to the United States and we signed their referrals. On Thursday, we told our boys by celebrating little K’s 5th birthday. They are really happy that, Lord willing, K, K and R will be their sisters! They have still been praying for the girls on a nightly basis and just days after we had been matched, Asher (before he knew anything that was going on) prayed that God would give us our girls back. 

So what does all this mean for Eden? Well, first off, I want to say that I absolutely believe that God led us to Eden. We love this little girl and she will always hold a place in our hearts. God used her to change me in so many ways and I will never be the same because of her. We are grieving as we have to give her back to the Lord. The bottom line is that she still needs a family, and we will do everything in our power to help her find one. She has had so many people praying for her, so I am confident that the Lord will provide what she needs! More posts to come about Eden!

We are truly amazed at all that God has done. He continues to teach me that none of this is in my control and that I have to just trust him completely. It’s crazy to me that our girls, whom I thought would never come home, may be home by SUMMER!

Well, I think that’s enough crazy for one day. I’ll let you guys process all that. :) Thank you all for your prayers!

Until next time! -K