Words

I’ve held back from sharing this post for a while. Sometimes the raw, untainted truth isn’t such a pretty thing. We live in a society where we only put the best of ourselves forward and we can do that because the true “us” hides behind our Instagrams or our FB profiles or our blogs. Even in flesh and blood we’re fake people. You know you have a true friend when you can bare your soul with them and share all of your shortcomings and downfalls and they shake their head and say “I totally understand,” and they really do. I have a handful of these friends and what a blessing it is... but the topic of friendship is a topic for another day. Today I’m going to talk about words.

Words are interesting little things. They are just a combination of symbols, sounds and inflections. They are lifeless things yet carry with them such power, such weight. Proverbs 18:21 says, “Death and life are in the power of the tongue, and those who love it will eat its fruits.” Death and life... these are not things to be taken lightly. With our words we can crush and defeat, and with our words we can build up and breath hope. We choose. Everyday. 

Over the last 10 years Lance and I have heard a lot of hurtful words from people whose words tend to matter the most, but I would say about 50% of those wounding words have been spoken over the last year and a half as we have gone through one of the most difficult times of our lives. These words have not brought hope, joy, encouragement and life, rather they have brought pain, stress, discouragement and death. And the really sad thing is, they were spoken with the intention of “helping” us and making us better. Funny how that works.

The other day after another dose of hurtful, discouraging words, I found a quote online. It says, “There comes a point when you have to realize that you’ll never be good enough for some people. The question is, is that your problem or theirs?” I began to think about all the damaging and critical words that have flowed into our ears and I was saddened by the effect it’s had. I cannot count the times we’ve said to each other, “Nothing we do is good enough.” and “We can’t do anything right.” Maybe it’s not our problem but theirs. 

Then, I began to think about all the critical words that have flowed OUT of my own mouth and into the ears of my children, and I was utterly devastated by that reality. I thought about how quick I am to criticize. Maybe it’s not coming out and saying “You suck,” but it’s little criticisms all the time like “Why can’t you keep your room clean?” “Your handwriting on this is sloppy!” and “You need to stop being ungrateful!” Lets be honest, when you add them up day after day, from their point of view, they really say the same thing... and the sad thing is these critical words were spoken with the intention of “helping” them and making them better! This is the not-so-pretty truth of things and I’m not proud of it. 

It’s easy for me to let these little criticisms slide out and yet I have to be so intentional about affirmations and encouragements. Why? Why is death so easy to find on the tongue? Its always right there, ready and waiting. But life? I have to search for life on my tongue. I have to seek after it, but when I find it and bring it forth, it so beautiful, so wonderful. So why is that? Maybe because death is alway the easier choice because it’s our natural inclination... our sin nature. Sin is death.

I don’t ever want my children to look back over their life (or even their week) and think “I’m never good enough” because that would be our problem not theirs. I love my boys, and I think they are amazing kids with so many awesome, God given gifts and characteristics. My words should reflect that! James 1:26 says, “If anyone thinks he is religious and does not bridle his tongue but deceives his heart, this person’s religion is worthless.” I’ve been asking God to help me bridle my tongue and to send me life giving words to pour into my children.

Words... just combinations of sounds and symbols and yet so, so much more than that. We have the power to speak life and death into those around us. We have a choice. Everyday. What are you speaking to the people in your life? 

Until next time. -K

Gardening and the Christian Life

This spring, Lance and I planted a small garden. He laid the bed and planted the seeds, and I've nurtured them and helped them grow. He says this sounds just like making babies... 

Anyways, nobody told me gardening was addictive! Before I knew it, we (Lance) had ripped up our overgrown shrubs that were in the front of the house and we planted some new plants in their place. If we were made of money I would have a full English garden by now, but our Lowes gift card ran out so we stopped  buying plants. Sad day.

I don't even know what kind of bushes we pulled up, but I replaced them with Indian Hawthorns which are quite hardy. I also planted a lovely Hydrangea with purple/blue blooms in a spot where a scraggly rose bush once lived (it came with the house). Hydrangeas are some of my favorite flowering plants and this one was particularly beautiful. One of the blooms on this Hydrangea was almost 10 inches in diameter! Huge! I'll come back to my gorgeous Hydrangea in a minute.

I really and truly didn't expect to love gardening. I've always seemed to have a "black thumb" and have never had much luck with plants. I even killed a bamboo plant once. So, I just assumed it would become another chore I put off, but I love it. I look forward to going out every morning to water the plants and see what has changed. I even love pulling weeds. I wish laundry had the same appeal.

I also didn't expect to glean so many lessons about the Christian life from gardening. This has come as a complete surprise. It seems like every time I spend a few minutes surveying the fruits of my labor I always walk away pondering life; growth, faith, pain, joy, grace, provision, etc. 

Ok, so back to my Hydrangea. I planted it in late March, and it was my pride. The blooms were huge and it seemed to be doing well. I was really enjoying it, but, as the days got warmer, I started noticing something that concerned me. The edges of the leaves were starting to burn up. This plant only got a handful of hours of sunlight but it was the afternoon sun. Being an amateur gardener, I didn't know that in the South Hydrangeas really like morning light and afternoon shade. 

As the days passed, I decided I needed to move the Hydrangea to a shaded spot if  it was going to live. I knew leaving it where it was would eventually kill it. So, I got out the shovel, put the edge to the ground, stomped on it and dug up my beloved Hydrangea. I dug another hole and placed the root ball in the ground and covered it with soil. I patted down the dirt and watered it. As harsh as it seemed to dig it up, it was the only way I knew to save it. 

I tend to give my plants personalities... I'm weird. This Hydrangea did not like me digging it up and moving it somewhere new. It was quite comfy in the place where the sun beams rained down... even if it's leaves did burn up. It was used to that spot and would have preferred not to leave it, but I knew if it had stayed there it would die. For a couple of weeks after digging up it up, it seemed as though I had not saved my plant but killed it. It appeared the transplant had been too much for my Hydrangea to bear. It drooped. The blooms shriveled and browned. It was pitiful. My plant was in shock, teetering on the edge of life and death, but I continued to water it and check it because I believed I had done what was best for it even though I was taking a gamble that my plant might die. 

Yesterday, I went out to check all of my plants and as I got closer to my Hydrangea plant, I noticed something really awesome... new growth! Around each stem, under the shriveled blooms, there were little sprouts of green, heathy, new leaves. I was so excited to see this and instantly I began to relate to this Hydrangea plant. 

There are times in the Christian life when God has to dig us up! Sometimes he has to remove us from our comfy spot in the sunshine or else we will shrivel up and die. It's strange... to us, what feels like living is, in reality, dying. We've laid our roots and taken hold of the soil around us. Because of this, we don't want to be dug up. We don't want to move. We don't want to go through hardship. We don't want to be scared. We. Just. Don't. Wanna!

But unlike me, God is no amateur gardener. He doesn't take a gamble with our lives. He knows what we need... exactly what we need. He knows when digging us up is the BEST thing for us. While digging us up my take us out of our comfort, he does it to produce growth in us so we can live in a way that pleases Him. 

He is not unkind when he puts his shovel to the ground. He is perfectly loving and tender as he unearths the most vulnerable parts of us and lays them bare to be cared for by his expert hand. He sustains us when we are weak. He never leaves us even if we feel abandoned in the shadows. He supplies all our needs even when we feel nothing but despair. If we are a part of HIS garden then we have no need to fear because HE is an expert gardener and he love each of his plants. 

God, help us to embrace the times when you dig us up. Help our roots to grow strong in YOU and not the world around us. Give us courage so that we can be obedient even when it means leaving our comfort behind. Be our strength when our soul is weary and we feel as though we cannot go on. Produce growth in our lives that glorifies you and speaks of your wonderful grace! 

Until next time! -K

On the beach we forget to count the days...

...unless you're adopting. You always count days when you're adopting. 

Last Sunday, the boys and I loaded up the van (thank God for having a van) and headed down to the beach. It's been two years since we've been to the beach and I am so very grateful that Lance's aunt allowed us to stay in her lovely condo for free, else we would have not come to the beach. Lance had to work (saving his single week of paid vacation for India) but he was able to come down last night just in time for low country boil and he is staying until Sunday. The boys and I leave Monday. My parents and sister also came down which I was super excited about.

It's been beautiful here; a bit of rain the first couple of days but nothing too bad. The water has been crystal clear; no sea weed, no algae, no trash, NO JELLY FISH. Unfortunately the beach is crowded. Lots and lots of people. I can honestly say I don't think I've ever seen the beach so full. You almost cannot walk up and down the beach peacefully without tripping over sun bathers. I could totally do with less people but whatever.

I needed the beach so bad. I needed the relaxation. This adoption has chewed me up and spit me out. I just needed to get away from everything, forget my phone and computer (for a good chunk of the time) and have fun with my boys. I still had a ton of work to do that I left behind. Actually I did bring it with me but I can't get the card reader on Lance's computer to read my card so I can't get to the work! If you are some of that work, I'm REALLY sorry. Please forgive me for the delay, but trust me, it's probably better that I to do the work after than before. I promise I will get work done next week!

The sand and the waves have been therapy for me. There's been a lot of time for little chats with God, simple reflections, deep self-reflections, and a whole lot of just nothing other than enjoying my family. It's like a balm for my weary soul. The tan is just a bonus.

My friend asked me the other day if the beach has made me forget about the adoption. Well, no, but I'm not stressed about it. Although, I do think about and long for the girls a lot. It's hard for me to look out at the boys playing in the sand and not wonder what the girls would think about going to the beach for the first time. 

I met up with another Indi-momma down here on Sunday night. She and her husband just recently came home with their little boy from India. He is a heart stopper! I just want to eat him up, but that's kind of against adoption attachment rules. Totally not fair because his eyelashes alone are drool worthy. Seeing him reminded me that they really do come home... in the flesh. It's a strange feeling of awe and longing. I feel this same way when I see our friends' little girl, Shanti, who came from the same home as K, K and R. Just watching her run around in our church halls blows my mind. Some days the need for the girls to be home is almost palpable. On days like these no amount of sand and sun can make me forget that there are six little bare feet that are running around an orphanage in India when they should be running up and down the beach with us. 

A lot of people have been asking if we have any updates. No, not really. I think, THINK our case is in the court system but we won't really know that for sure until maybe July 3rd. The courts close for the whole month of June so I've told myself to just take a chill pill and enjoy my simple, easy life with two kids for four weeks. On July 2nd/3rd I can freak out to my heart's content (complete oxymoron), but for the month of June I'm gonna chill. What's that you say? Ugh, don't call me a liar, that's rude. ;-)

It's been a week since I mailed off our photo book to the girls. I am praying that they will get it and enjoy it. I wish I could be a fly mosquito on the wall when they open it up and see all the pictures of themselves and their new family. I saw how excited K1 was about Shanti's book so I can only imagine how much they will love seeing it. I'm guessing, "Man, these people are WHITE!" will be the main thought!

It's been FIVE, count em, FIVE weeks since I mailed our passports off. I really sorta kinda need to get those little books back so we can send them off again for visas <---- this kind of makes me nervous because there is a lot of confusion about visas right now. Don't ask... I don't know. See? Totally confused. I just know our passports need visas sooner rather than later.

Well, I think that's it for now. I think I'm going to go relax some more. :)

Until next time! -K

10 Years Ago Today

Ten years ago today, Lance got down on one knee and asked me to marry him. He says I didn't say "yes" but obviously I indicated that in some way since we are indeed married. Y'all, my boy did well! Not many can top his proposal!

We had taken a trip with our church college group to Alcala de Henares, Espana (AKA Alcala, Spain) to visit our friends Brent and Jade Collins who had been living there for about a year. I loved Spain! It was my first taste of Europe and I can't wait to one day go back. I love history and architecture and culture so of course I LOVED Spain!

Our first day in Alcala!

The city of Alcala is old and awesome! Cobblestone streets, little cafes and shops, siestas, roses the size of your head... I can still remember what the air smells like. I often miss the cafe con leche we drank every morning that tasted like dirt. Totally random info, but Bath and Body Works Coconut Lime Verbena is one of my favorites because that's what we used in our hotel room in Alcala so it always takes me back to Spain when I smell it.

Well, it just so happened while we were in Spain, the Spanish Price was getting married. It was a big deal! Similar to the British Royal weddings. They were selling china with their pictures on it... we passed on that.

The day the prince was getting hitched, we hopped on a bus and went to the beautiful city of Segovia. This city is breathtaking. It felt like going back in time. More cobblestone streets, narrow ally ways, ancient Roman aqueducts... and a castle.

This is the castle Alcazar. Alcazar was a fortress built in sometime in the 11th or 12th century that later housed royalty. It's shaped like the bow of a ship and was the refuge of Queen Isabella. Christopher Columbus may have walked these halls. But more importantly to me than all of that, this is the place where Lance asked me to marry him. I told you he did well!

Alcazar of Segovia

We actually could have gotten married in Spain that day. They were PAYING people like ∉500 to get married the same day as the royal wedding. After dating for four years, we briefly thought about it, but we figured that wouldn't sit well with our parents. Regardless, it was a really special day!

Before we went into the castle.

He was so nervous!

It's hard to believe that a decade has passed since we climbed the narrow spiral stairs to that tower and looked over those stone walls. Life goes by so fast and so much changes! I'm so very thankful for the husband God gave me and the life he has blessed us with.

I believe this was our day in Madrid.

Happy "Proposal Day" Lance! I love you more! -K

Unlocked

For a few days now, I’ve battled internally about when I should open up our blog again. I was torn because a lot of me wants it to be open so people can freely follow our journey of adoption and keep up with our family, but another part of me is a protective momma bear who doesn’t want to risk any chance of facing another devastating loss. I asked other adoptive Indi-mommas and I got mixed opinions, so I decided to pray to the ultimate authority and ask the Lord to lead me. Why this wasn’t my go-to option I don’t know.

After some conviction in my heart, I came to the conclusion that I needed to open it back up again. Here are the things that I led me to this conclusion:

• We have NOC and that is one of the most crucial milestones in an Indian adoption.
• I was reminded that I am still not in control of this journey. The reality is that locking my blog down really doesn’t give me any control. God’s will ultimately will come to fruition, and that’s been proven many times in this process.
• By trying to be in control and protect things, I’m not able to be an encouragement to those who might be in the process of adoption or considering it or even just people who are struggling knowing if God cares or provides or works miracles. 
• I want my blog to proclaim the greatness of our God! He has been moving mountains and parting seas for our girls to come home, and I want to shout about it from the rooftops!
• My blog is set to be unsearchable. You can’t google our names and find our blog. You can find a lot of other things but not this blog. I will change this once we get our verbal court orders. 

So there you have it! Welcome to the unlocked Spin Cycle Diaries! :)

Today is an AMAZING day!!!!

Today is an amazing day! I am excited! I am thrilled! I am in shock! God has done it again! He has moved mountains and answered another of our BIG prayers! All glory goes to Him!

Today we found out that we have ARC and NOC approvals!!!!! 

Sometimes I miss The Wiggles. Maybe R will like them.

This is HUGE!!!!

ARC is the state approval and NOC is the national approval. ARC comes first since it’s required for NOC.

On average is seems to take about 5-6 months for families to get both ARC and NOC (sometimes it takes much longer). Below are real timelines of other families adopting from India.

Referral papers in June and NOC in November = 5 months

Referral papers in January and NOC in July = 6 months

Referral papers in August and NOC in January = 5 months

Referral papers in August and NOC in December = 6 months

Referral papers in January and NOC in June = 4 months

Referral papers in July and NOC in January = 6 months

Referral papers in January and NOC in October = 9 months

Referral papers in January and NOC in August = 7 months

We signed our referral papers on February 8th and got NOC May 16. THREE MONTHS!!! Praise the Lord!!

We are now waiting on a court date! The courts will be closed the whole month of June so we are praying for a early July court date. Once again this is another BIG prayer to pray!  

Once you have a court date it generally takes 1-3 months to pass court. After court we will travel about 6 weeks later after the girls passports are ready! Keep praying with us that God would continue to move mountains to bring our girls home quickly! I am still praying for travel at the end of August or early September!

I had to celebrate the special day with a little gift for our soon to be new United States Citizens! I got them matching red, white and blue tees to wear home on the plane!!! :)

Praying we hear great court news soon! After we pass court and the girls are officially ours, I will unlock the blog!

Time to Celebrate!!!!

I don't even know how write this post! Words fail me. Those of you who know me well know there are not many times when I am left speechless, but last night was one of those times. Lance and I woke up this morning wondering if it had all been a crazy dream, but nope... it's real! Let me tell you what God has done!

We began our adoption process in January 2013. Funding the adoption was our biggest concern. We would need approximately $50,000 to adopt two girls. When we bumped that number to THREE girls that amount went to $60,000. Want to know how much of that we had sitting in a rainy day fund? ZERO! We couldn't wrap our brain around being able to pay $10,000 much less $60,000! We were scared to death of this huge financial mountain! I would almost have panic attacks when I looked at the fee schedule! BUT God continued to assure us that HE would provide our every need. Doubt often trumped our faith, but we just continued to put one step in front of the other and follow wherever he led us. Every step of the way God did indeed provide! Sometimes it was subtle and sometimes it was mind blowing. He was faithful as always!

Last night at 10:30 we got a very unexpected call. During this call, we learned that we officially crossed the finish line regarding our funding goal. By the grace of God and another generous organization, we are now FULLY FUNDED!!!!

Our fees are paid! Our travel is covered! Aside from a few little expenses like visas, we are DONE!

One more time because it feels so good...

WE ARE FULLY FUNDED!!!!!! PRAISE THE LORD!!!!!!

Thank you for praying! Thank you for supporting! Thank you for sharing! Thank you for giving! THANK YOU!!!

Praise the Lord with us as we celebrate all that God has done!!!! Do you remember my recent post about praying for two specific things? I have been praying BIG prayers. One of those prayers was that we would be fully funded by the end of May! That prayer has been more than answered!!! 

Now we continue to pray that we can travel by August! Girls, we are coming for you!!!