A Letter To Our Family and Friends

Dear Family and Friends,

You have been our cheerleaders, our councilors, our comforters, our encouragers, our prayer warriors and the list goes on and on! We would not be crossing this finish line if it were not for you all! We are so grateful for and humbled by your love and support. 

In mere days we will board a plane – a plane that will not only take us to India but will also take us to the starting point of a new journey. The waiting and pining will come to an end and the work in the trenches will begin. This will be the real journey. This will be the hard journey. This will be the worthy journey that God has called us to. We will still desperately need your continued love and support in this new journey, if not more so. We won't stop needing your prayers or your encouragements just because we have our girls in our arms. 

I wanted to share some info with you that will help our girls and us transition once we get home. We will likely stay home for good month or so. This is called "cocooning" in the adoption world. We know that all of you will be excited to meet our girls and we will be excited for you to meet them, but we will need to take some time to bond as a family. However, once we do start to socialize a bit more, this information will be helpful for those who interact with us. Honestly, I debated even posting this stuff but I've decided it might be a good idea since damage control for three kids would be pretty hard. We need help from every direction and if you are aware then you can help us on your end! 

I'm not reinventing the wheel here. All of these things have been addressed by other adoptive parents before us. You can used these as guidelines for basically all adopting families. Here it goes...

Yes, they are super cute, but please don't hug or hold our girls just yet. We will be trying to teach our girls that WE are their family and WE are the ones who should give and get affection. This is a tough one because we know so many of you love our girls and just want to show that. Please show them through smiles, handshakes and high-fives. That is how we will be teaching our girls to interact with people outside our immediate family and it will be SO much easier if everyone was onboard so we don't have to play defense. Once we feel attachment is secure, then we will allow them to hug and be held by our extended family and very close friends, but this may take a while. 

Please don't feed our girls. This is sort of the same concept as above. We will be teaching our girls that WE are their family and that WE meet all their needs. Only Lance and I should be providing food or drink to our girls. If you want to give them a cookie, give it to me or Lance first and we will give it to the child. In the same way, they need to know that we comfort them and help them when they get hurt, so always direct them back to us for any needs that need to be met. 

How to give gifts. Consider meals or deserts that all of our family can enjoy. We don't want our girls to grow an expectation of getting gifts every time somebody new walks in the door. If you really want to give them new toys or new clothes, we can collect the gifts from you on the down-low and slowly introduce them to the girls when we feel it's appropriate. We also don't want our Boys to feel left out or less than important. We truly appreciate your kindness, though! 

Remember that little ears are always open. Please think about the things you say and ask around our girls and even our boys. You all know that we are passionate about adoption and we are more than willing to tell you all about it. However, conversations about our children's past aren't really appropriate, especially in front of the children. I have a very bad habit of letting words just fly out of my mouth and I have asked curious questions to adoptive families before without realizing the answers I was seeking might be private to the family. Our girls mother passed away and that is the extent of what we will share. The rest of the details are theirs to share or keep as they choose.  Also, there may be times where talking about the adoption in general in front of the kids is just not a great idea. We will let you know when that's the case. We encourage you all to ask questions if you have them. Don't be scared. We promise we won't jump down your throat if you use the wrong word or something. We just ask that you consider how your words could effect our kids before you let them go. Thank you for respecting our girls in this way. 

Help our girls feel comfortable in their skin. Obviously, our girls are NOT going to look like us. We would really appreciate it if folks don't make comments (as innocent as they may be) about their skin tone or anything that would make them feel more different than they already do. Also, if you haven't already, talk to your children about transracial adoption. Explain how families can look different in many ways. 

And one again... Please don't stop praying for us! Adoption is hard and we will no doubt face a lot of tough stuff in the future. We need your continued prayers! 


We cannot wait to get our babies home and introduce them to all the wonderful people in our lives! We are so excited to share our journey to India and beyond!

Love,
Kristian

Passports!

Tuesday, while I was out at Lance's parents house, my phone made my favorite sound. I finally learned how to make a VIP contact in my email so that when I get an email from that person my phone will ring with a special ringtone. I've set this up for our agency rep. This has helped me not to check my email 50 million times a day. Why I didn't think to do that two years ago I have no idea. Anyways, Tuesday that wonderful ring tone filled my ears!

WE HAVE PASSPORTS!!!!!!! That was our LAST step! We could have left that day if the home would have allowed it but they want us there on November 10th so we leave in less than two weeks! 

The home sent pics of the passports but I think they accidentally sent the back portion of Khushboo's twice so right now I only have pics of Kashila's and Rabina's. I may or may not have squealed when I saw these! 

If feels so amazing to know that we have nothing left to be waiting on except time itself! We have a lot to do over the next two weeks. It's just so unbelievable that we are at the finish line! The finish line that seemed to continually move over the horizon has now stopped eluding us and has actually been moving closer to us. 

I can't even begin to explain how it feels to be here... so close. I remember when many of our friends were at this spot I tried to imagine what it would feel like to be there one day and I just couldn't. Now I'm here and I can't even adequately verbalize what it's like. In some moments I am completely flooded with all sorts of emotion. In other moments I kind of blank out and I try to find some type of grounding in reality. This usually leads to another flood of  all sorts of emotion. 

For example, last night we went to eat at the Indian restaurant for my birthday. As I sat there, I started to get really... I don't even know what I was, but I was about to cry – ugly cry. I sucked it up and shook it off, because I knew the drama of tears at the table would have brought on an onslaught of questions that I had no answers for. I didn't know what was wrong with me or why I wanted to burst into tears or anything. 

I'm positive this will only get worse as we move closer and closer. Lord help us all! 

Well, I best get to cleaning and packing. I'll post Khushboo's passport pic as soon as I get it! 

Until Next time! ~K

Counting Down!

I wasn't planning on writing a blog at this moment. In fact we were all trying to take our family Sunday nap. Two of us were succeeding. One of us was was kicking the bed repeatedly and the other one of us wanted to rip her hair out. Instead of doing that she decided to write a blog post. 

Needless to say the person who really needed a nap did not get one. 

I thought I would update you guys on our newest travel developments! As of today, we are leaving in 17 days. Yep, we are boarding a plane on November 5 and we are going to India to get our babies! 

We had been waiting for a response from the orphanage, and they finally gave word that we can come to pick up the girls on Monday, November 10th. I told Lance the great news and he told me to book flights immediately! No complaints here! Kristian did what she was told! 

Instantly, I was a ball of nerves. It was the same feeling I had the day we saw Khushboo, Kashila and Rabina for the very first time! I canceled school (I can do that because I'm the teacher), gave the kids a fair warning that Mommy was going to be very busy and then I got to work! 

We have everything booked except our hotel! Will hold our daughters in our arms in three weeks! 

We still have a lot to do around here before we leave. Please pray that God's provision will be evident and that all the documents we need to be ready will be complete before we board the plane! 

We Are Down To Just Weeks!

It's really hard for me to wrap my brain around the fact, but we are down to mere weeks before we will hold our daughters in our arms for the first time. The wait is getting harder... not easier. I honestly can't even fathom getting on the plane. None of it seems real. I sit here looking at these suitcases full of stuff and I feel like I'm just pretending and all of this is just fake. It's weird. I'm not sure when reality will sink in.  

The girls' passports were applied for on September 29th and it should take about 10 business days. They've had a couple of holidays over the last week, though. We asked the home if we could travel on October 22nd and pick the girls up on October 27th. They responded that they thought it would be better if we waited until after the first week of November. We assume this is because of all the holidays in October. This was disappointing because we REALLY wanted to experience Diwali (the festival of light) in India and of course it's simply two more weeks we will have to wait for the girls. 

We have made plans to leave November 5th and pick up the girls on November 10th. We've asked the home if this is okay with them and we've also asked if they would consider letting us still come to pick up the girls on October 27th if the passports get done by October 17th. We haven't gotten any responses yet. Hopefully we will hear this week!

If we get to leave  on October 22nd, we are only TWO weeks away! Wow, just typing that gives  me a knot in my throat! If we leave Nov 5th, we are only FOUR weeks away! It's just so hard to believe! 

In the meantime, we are working on getting things squared away here. 

I've been organizing the girls room some more. I've hung all their shirts and dresses and put all their little pants, leggings, pjs, socks and panties in their drawers. I cleaned out their closet and have donated many, many loads of stuff to local charities. I can't wait to have the room all put together. I had really wanted to paint but I have no idea when that will happen.

I also began to pack things. I have the girls' suitcase completely packed. I'm just praying it doesn't weigh over 50lbs!!! I had to go to the store to get some things on our packing list. It's amazing how much stuff you need! I've scoured the internet for travel and packing tips and found a lot of great ideas! Now if my adoption fried brain can just bring it all together!  

My dear friend, Katie, threw us a shower for the girls this past Sunday, and that was such a huge blessing! We felt very loved! We got a lot of clothes for the girls and quite a few gift cards which are awesome since we aren't 100% sure of their sizes. I can't wait to take my girls shopping! Eeeek!

I've started coupon-ing again because, um, well we are about to double our family size so mamma needs to get some deals! I need to find a deep freezer so I can stash meats and stuff! We don't have a lot of freezer space in our bottom drawer freezer. I'm not a fan! 

I've been getting caught up on laundry. I need to go through and minimize everyones wardrobes so that we have less laundry to do. I'm about to be swimming in laundry.

We're still home schooling. Some days/weeks are better than others. I kind of feel like I'm just surviving life right now and probably will be for a while after the girls come home, so I doubt this years homeschooling will be my crowning glory. Kids are learning so that's what matters. 

On a different note, God has really been answering our prayers in recent weeks. It's been such a wonderful reminder that he knows all of our needs and desires. 

I had started to stress about whether or not we had enough money for travel. Prices have been going up. Grrrr! Well, it turned out we had $5,000 extra in our adoption fund and we have no idea where it came from! Now we are all set for travel. No worries about $$$ at all! Praise the Lord!

I've also been praying and hoping that we would be able to gather some pieces of information regarding the girls' past to save for them when they begin to ask questions. This week, the Lord guided me to some of this information online and I am so thankful! It was a bit sobering to see details of the things that happened almost three years ago, but I know that what I found is invaluable! 

Whew! That was a lot! 

Please continue to pray for us as we prepare to travel. Pray that the passports are finished quickly and if the Lord wills that we will be able to travel on Oct 22nd as we had hoped. I'll update you all once we get more news! 

Until next time! -K