A Letter To Kristian

Today, friends, is not mine and Lance’s 8th wedding anniversary but Tuesday was. I’m late posting because we have been traveling through Europe, walking along cobble stone streets, sipping decadent coffee together and forgetting we are Georgians. Well, not really, but a girl can dream right? We didn't go to Europe but we did watch the sunset from the top of a parking garage while we drank coffee and ate donuts. Same thing, don't you think?

You know how they say you love each other more as the years pass? Well, it’s true, but I think that’s because every year you get more and more “okay” with the things that drive you crazy. I’m kidding. These last eight years have been a journey worth taking. I love my man and I cannot wait to see what God has in store for us!

When you were in grade school, did your teacher ever make you write a letter to yourself in the future? I had to do that in middle school and I received the letter the year I graduated high school. I thought it was pretty cool, but for some reason I really worried about those kids who moved away and never got their letters. It still bugs me even now. Yes, I’m completely aware that I’m weird. 

Today, I’m going to reverse that idea. I decided I would write a letter to my pre-marriage self. I wonder what it would have effected had I actually gotten this letter... probably a great deal since it would likely have gotten me admitted into the mental hospital. “Hey y’all! Look at this letter I got from eight years in the future!”

Dear pre-marriage Kristian,

Don't freak out, but it's me/you writing you from 8 years in the future. Looks like it’s a couple of weeks before you say your vows to Lance... before God and man. You’re probably busy being concerned about the reception decor and the tuxedos you have to reorder. Oh, that hasn’t come up yet? Well, it will, and you will cry big tears, but it will be okay. However, I should warn you, first off, that Ava Maria is a REALLY long song, and you may want to consider cutting out a few verses. Second, you should prepare your control freak self for the fact that one of your flower girls will not go down the aisle, so your perfect symmetry is going to go out the window. Third, you may want to eat some food the morning of your wedding, because you won’t eat much at the reception or afterward.

Also, you should probably sit down with your vows and really think about them. You will be promising to “honor and obey” your husband. Remember how, according to your marriage counseling, he’s an “otter” and you’re a “lion”? Yeah, honoring and obeying is not going to come easy for you. It's going to be something you have to work on... for the rest of your marriage. I know you think this isn’t really a big deal, but it is. This will rage a war against you on the inside... you must learn to tame the lion and the lion’s tongue!

Oh, and you know how you think you don’t want kids? Ha! That’s just so hilarious, because you’re going to have two boys. Neither of them will be planned. They are going to drive you absolutely insane and yet you are going to love them so completely. But wait, I’m not done with the kid thing! You’re going to adopt two more kids! Yep, no kidding! And get this, they will be GIRLS! Gasp! You, yes you! So have fun with that. Nope, birth control will not save you... that’s what is so funny. :) Oh and Brayden is six so you do the math!

I’m just going to tell you now, you are NOT your mother. You are not a “June Cleaver” you are a “Frankie Heck”! I wish I could say that you get better as the years go along but, so far, that has not been true. You will have way too much stuff and clutter and you will hate it. You will have a constant mound of laundry in multiple places in your house. You will one day have stuff in more than one house! I’m hoping one day you will become more disciplined and organized, but I haven’t gotten a letter from far future Kristian yet and I have my doubts.

You will learn a great deal over the course of the next eight years. You will come to realize the importance of finding your sufficiency in Christ alone... not in your husband or anything else. You will learn the hard consequences of sin that you are unaware of right now. You will discover what grace and mercy truly is and you will learn that you must give grace and mercy because it was first given to you. Many years from now, you will learn that you are not in control and never will be... this will be a hard and ongoing lesson. You will learn so many things about Lance and one of those things is that he is not a mind reader. You will both BEGIN to learn how to communicate with each other, but that is also a hard and ongoing lesson.

You will learn a lot of little things over the next eight years. You will learn that laundry has to be rewashed twice if you let it sour in the washing machine. You will learn not to let your kids eat in the living room. You will learn what household cleaners kill ants on contact. You will learn that you will never be able to make a bed like your mother does and you will be okay with that. You will learn that water just doesn’t cut it on your son’s morning hair. You will learn that Lance will NOT ever learn to put his socks anywhere besides the floor next to your bed. You will learn that you completely stink at buy cars. You will learn the importance of not having debt. You will learn that Lance takes longer showers than you do. You will learn how to stop your husband from snoring. You will learn to cook and you actually won’t be half bad at it. Oh, the things you will learn... the list is endless.

There will be good times and there will be bad times. You will laugh so hard you cry and you will cry so hard you vomit. There will be times that you cannot get close enough to him and there will be times that you cannot get far enough away. You will experience just about every emotion possible. I cannot prepare you for everything... some things must simply be lived through. Rest assured though, you will cherish the good as well as the bad. All your experiences will be like the very ring he will place on your finger as a symbol of your devotion... precious gold forged in the fire decorated with beautiful diamonds created under tremendous pressure.

Kristian, marriage is hard, it’s complicated but it is a wonderful adventure. You will love this man and there will be no words that can describe that love. Marriage was not designed by this world... it was designed by the Creator of the universe to mirror His own love for His people... His bride. One day you will see this and you will understand that God created you and He created Lance and He united you together for His glory and your joy. This one truth will become a catalyst for your love for each other.

So, in couple of weeks, when those doors open and your father walks you down the aisle toward that handsome, blue eyed, dark haired boy, know that you are in for WAY more than you bargained for and it will be WAY better than you can possibly imagine. Enjoy the journey.

Love,

Future You

Until next time! -K